I [23F] feel too old for love. I feel really bad about it.

I used to feel the same way, until I met my husband. His father is like the men you’ve mentioned, and as much as he loves his father, the wandering eye behavior makes him uncomfortable.

I’ve had several boyfriends before my husband, and I’d always catch them glancing at attractive people (as we all sometimes do!) but I’ve never seen my husband do it. He says he only has eyes for me, and I believe it. I feel the same way about him too! I can find others objectively attractive, but for the first time in my life, I’ve never been attracted to anyone else but him. That’s why we decided to get married.

You may be depressed. 2020 was a hard one on all of us! Do what you can to relax and find things that bring joy into your life. If you are looking for love, keep looking and don’t settle. And enjoy the journey while you can! As much as I love my husband, I recently confided in him that I kind of miss dating! I was younger, healthier, and had less responsibilities, and every date was like a mini adventure then. Would it end early? Or would we end up talking and walking for hours sipping coffee? I even miss the bad dates that ended up as funny stories years down the road...

I have friends who settled because they also felt “too old” (in their mid to late twenties) and now feel even more “unloveable” now that they’ve been locked into a relationship for so long. I’ve always felt that I’d rather be single and date around to keep my options open than be miserable with one person for decades until we finally decide to part ways.

Take your time, figure out what you want in a partner, and especially discover what your deal-breakers are. And when you do find someone, remember that all relationships are not perfect and take a lot of work! My husband and I have evolved a lot during our time together, and there have been many changes in our lives as the years pass (children, new jobs, several moves out of state, health issues) but the main thing that we both know is that we love and trust each other, and are committed to make this work.

Good luck :)

/r/relationship_advice Thread Parent