I doubt OP was trying to ‘emotionally manipulate’ her decision. “Work it out like adults” seems a little high handed too. I mean they both went through abuse so have a heart. Telling her to basically be this perfect creature that has only rational conversations, while taking on the whole burden of this problem but without feeling any drama and then saying how we have to remember people aren’t perfect is a double standard. I’m guessing it was the straw that broke the camel’s back kind of a moment. Plus I’d be pissed if these new kids were in my life after 3 months. I think that’s alarming so I get it. True rational conversations, blocking out times to hang out are great ideas but the truth is that life doesn’t usually work like that. People spend time with the people who they want to see and it seems like OPs mom is more invested in bf’s kids so I doubt all those good intentions will do much rn. I think a conversation is in order for sure. I’d keep saying how you want to hang out and appreciate your mom but also be aware that this will probly be a long process with a lot of hurt. Play the long game and you’ll usually win. I pray you do.