All the People Who Can't Cook Are Trying to Impress Their Valentines.

Gross, heres my recipe for a simple ragu that neckbeards who've never cooked can make. It's italian american style, it's not "authentic" by any means but its good. Problem is italian cooking has been coopted so hard by giant food corps that they've destroyed what is really simple cooking and made everything ketchup flavored. You should be able to cook italian food you don't need anything bottled and we import pretty good stuff in the states.

Don't use fresh tomatoes. You actually use canned ones they just need to be the right ones. The idea is don't do too much keep it simple.

1 big can of San Marzano Tomatoes, this is the most important thing. DO NOT SUB with anything else or it will fuck it up. People saying add carrots...add sugar, add baking soda, add cinnamon, they're saying this cause they're using tomatoes that are too acidic and on top of that adding wine. SM tomatoes are kind of mellowed out already so they've done the work of reducing the acid for you.

Fresh basil if you've got it. Dried if you have to sub whatever. 1 small onion or half an onion.
minced garlic. 1 lb groundbeef. a few slices of regular ass bacon. (dont get that gross honey bacon or whatever the fuck they sell now) a quarter of a can of small tomato paste. (cost under a dollar) olive oil. peccarino romano cheese or grated parmesean. (don't buy that cheap powder shit that comes in a green container, buy a piece of real cheese)

1 box of pasta, dececco or barilla. Don't use fresh pasta, Thats for something else. hard pasta is used most of the time, is authentic...its imported from italy. Don't sub in gluten free crap, you might as well just give up pasta.

In your pot. Heat up high.

fry bacon, we need bacon cause health nuts ruined ground beef. All ground beef is so lean now what the hell this 99.99 percent lean ground beef? meanwhile the butcher takes home the flavorful good stuff.

Brown beef. Salt and break the beef up with your sppon. Add diced onion half way thru. Make a little space so you can see the bottom of the pan. Then add your teaspoon of minced garlic. You can use fresh garlic just fine...Don't burn the garlic, brown it then mix it in. Lower to medium.

Add your can of tomatoes if they're whole peeled or diced you need to crush them up yourself you can do this with your hands, add your basil,

Take a quarter of that tomato paste throw it in the empty SM tomatoes can, add a cup of water mix that up, add it to the pot.

Stir it up.

If you have a dutch oven, throw it in the oven at 300 and let it simmer and it will reduce a bit and thicken up. If no dutch oven, do it on the stove top on low, but you gotta stir it cause the heat is less even. Hour, before its time to eat you shut off your heat and stir and let the sauce cool and setup and you can boil your water for pasta right when you're hungry. Theres some science behind why leftover sauce tastes better... i don't know the science i think it just needs time to sit for a bit and setup...when you rush its watery and acidic.

cook your pasta...boil water....add a lot of salt. pull the pasta out when al dente...shock the pasta with cold water as you strain so it doesnt keep cooking itself, then add olive oil and stir it up so it doesn't stick. Don't put olive oil in the water when boiling thats nonsense...the oil separates from the water whats the point of that?

okay eat your food. If your pasta and sauce temp are too cold after letting rest, just give it a bit of heat again, add your grated cheese to taste, more fresh basil on top.

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