Yeah, shocking really is the word when you realise how you allowed yourself to be treated - or even convinced yourself that you deserved to be treated. It completely tears apart your self esteem more than he already has, and the worst part is I keep thinking maybe if I’d noticed what he was doing earlier on then I could have saved our relationship - it’s pathetic. How much I still mourn for the time when I felt happy and secure and like we had a future to share. I too turned to alcohol to cope with the loneliness when he would ignore me for days on end except to criticise why I wasn’t a good enough wife or mother even while I worked full time and earned more than him. It’s extra humiliating because after walking out on me and our one-year-old the week before Christmas leaving us with no support system for over a week, he now gets to blame my drinking for why he ‘had to leave for the sake of our son’ and nobody questions the fact that if things were really so bad then why did he leave our son alone with me? Even my parents have taken his side as no one saw what he was like behind closed doors and I was too ashamed to tell anyone because I thought I deserved it