My first apartment, there was a guy living across the breezeway, who, for no reason at all began egging my door every night. I left a note. The next day.. more egg. So.. I egged his. He escalated the situation and started throwing egg and charcoal (from his tiny little grill) at my door and on my door mat. So would just dump it in front of his door. He kept on and made a bigger mess everyday. So I get drunk and see that his grill is out. I take a dump in his grill. He later comes out and doesn't see the turd and throws charcoal in his grill and goes to town on some burgers. My friends and I laugh while watching through the peephole at this dunce cooking turd burgers. About 45 seconds after his fist bite we hear him dry heaving. I wake up the next morning to the charcoal, turd burgers, burnt turd, and his fresh turd on my doormat. So I flung the doormat at his door which made the turds stick to the door. He moved out about 3 days later. That was over 10 years ago and I still laugh about the fact that me and a guy who's face I saw once ever to invite him over before the egg turd fiasco, had a giant feud over nothing.