Sorry for no reply. Yesterday was my day to get Xmas cookies made. I made almost 30 dozen cookies. Started early and went late.
Just a short comment since you brought it up. I have zero problems with your Dads old job. Honestly same thing every soldier is required to be expected to do. Sounds like your Dads old job was same thing just a bit more personal.
My Ex Sister-in-Law had to hire the same action taken in China after her kidnapping. Guy was too well connected to be arrested so she had to stay out of China until it was safe again.
I've had women pull that shit of things getting hot and heavy then dropping the I have a boyfriend crap. Worse was on a date, end of date making out and has accepted a invitation to go up to my place to spend the night. Mentions she is getting married in a couple of weeks. Stopped things right then and told her as interested as I was that she needed to make up her mind what she wanted because I wouldn't screw over another guy like that. I respect your moral belief's. I do believe though if the women that night had said she had a boyfriend not a marriage date I would have taken her upstairs. Not because I wouldn't care but because they could be telling me so I know they are looking for someone to help them break away from a abusive boyfriend or someone who just doesn't want them to leave. I've found a lot of women need that new boyfriend before they can dump the old one. That is insecurity on their part. Not saying that is what happened in your case just saying keep an open mind.
A question. How are you approaching these dates? The first few dates should ONLY be about getting to know each other. That may or may not include sex but still should not be taken serious. At no point should the words, "You are special, different, awesome" or any other phrase be used even if they are. Too fast and you come off as insecure and forget about women's lib crap. Women looking to date still look for a man who can be strong for them. After they become secure with you then they're okay with some insecurity on your part but it's a deal killer early in a relation. Doesn't mean be a asshole just don't get serious about her at this point. Not too worried about the asshole part you sound like a decent person so concentrate on not being over eager.
You do know that women crave sex as much as men right? Just because of society's biases they have to act as if they don't. Asian women are in some cases the worst. Partly because their society is okay with women being slutty so long as it's all in private. So you treat asian women very politely in public even or especially if you are dating them. Once in private you take your cues from them but it can progress very fast. An example, while working in China I used to talk to the concierge a young lady on our floor. She was stationed by the elevators. When no one coming up elevators or coming down hallway she would stand up, unbutton her blouse a couple of extra buttons and then pull it out while leaning over. Clear shot of some very nice tits. She would check to make sure I could see her tits clearly and adjust if I couldnt. She didn't want to date me just wanted to be a bit wild while staying safe. If anyone started down hallway she sat back down while pulling blouse tight closing up her shirt. She had it down to an art. If I had asked her out she would have said no. Sometimes it's all about the flirt and nothing else.
Not sure if any of this helps but best of luck.