I've had a bad day, so here's my 2 cents.
Fuck the button, fuck /u/powerlanguage, fuck reddit, fuck /r/thebutton, fuck April Fools day, fuck /u/BigGoron, and fuck you in particular.
Yes you.
This is literally the most retarded, wasteful, idiotic display of 200 proof autism in the history of the internet.
It was a button. A fucking button. All it did was reset every time someone pressed it. No reward, no promises, nothing. That's literally all it was.
And you dense, autistic basement dwelling motherfuckers took it to a whole new plane of shitposting saber-rattling nonsensical bullshit that I'm pretty sure it transcended this plane of existence.
Aside from the half of you pre-teen wank engines who tried to turn the shithole of /r/thebutton into even more of a shithole a la /r/reactiongifs, I look at the graphs, the charts, heatmaps, predictions, analysis, hours and hours and hours of work wasted on fucking nothing, and I think to myself, why?. It's over now, and all your work was for nothing.
I'm talking to you, /u/emtes, /u/MrFunderthuck, /u/treyjp et al. Do you feel accomplished? Do you feel like you did something, contributed something to society? Because it all means shit now and all your extensions, API's, graphs and other bullshit ammounted, in the end, to wasted time and nothing more. Time you could have spent doing something productive like a normal fucking human being.
God damn, if I ever was having a bad day and felt like an unproductive slob, I took comfort in knowing that I could go to /r/thebutton and remind myself that "At least I'm wasting my life like these guys. Compared to them, I'm a workaholic."
And don't get me started on the "Factions". If I were to dip into the DSM-V and look up the definition of Autism, I'm pretty sure I'd see these "Faction" leaders right there next to Chris-chan. /u/questionmonger and and his "Followers of the Shit", /u/eclipsed and his "Knights of the Bullshit", /u/Jacobugath and his "Church of Even More Bullshit", /u/Relevant_Relevant and "The Blunderhood"...
Jesus fucking tapdancing Christ, you're all grown men/women acting like the equivalent of autistic kids acting all tough because you started a clan in fucking Roblox or Club Penguin. You're not intimidating. You're not impressive. You're not some big social movement, at the end of the day you're just a bunch of basement dwellers getting their Depends in a bunch over a fucking button on a fucking website full of fucking losers that did absolutely fucking nothing for anyone ever.
In the end, nothing was gained from any of this, and the time you all wasted here, what was it for?
The truth, reddit, is that you're here because you wanted to feel like something you're not.