Not saying that this is a reason, but have you ever considered underlying issues? I have a brother-in-law who is the sweetest man on the earth. Loves his wife dearly. But he does dumb stuff too like your husband seems to do. He means well, and he tries. However, he sometimes does not comprehend the simple things around him including common sense. It was just recently discovered that he has a form of Asperger's, and is somewhat on the spectrum of autism. Though you wouldn't know this if you met him, but after a while you can notice certain things that are just.. off. You say he is a smart man, but Acts dumb. Are you sure? I am just giving one concept here, not trying to defend his actions to you. But sometimes underlying issues are invisible. My brother-in-law is a lot like your husband. He can get forgetful that can cost money. He has good intentions that are misplaced nine times out of 10. They mean well, but they don't put the thought process in motion. Anyway, I am just giving you an idea that maybe things are not as they seem. There are ways to find out medically, if you want to go that route. Your story very much reminds me of my brother-in-law. They sound like carbon copies. I hope things work out for the best later, and good luck to you.