It's really simple. Women need to be able to look up to a man...almost in a paternal manner, for visceral attraction. However, so as not to invoke a female counterpart to the Madonna/Whore complex, the illusion must be kept that no such dynamic exists. (This seems to be the essence of Captain/First Mate)

I think this is overthinking the situation. Animals are inherently selfish and humans are also animals. All people will instinctively reach for people with higher SMV than themselves. I'm an American, and the culture itself is strongly "Me first." Smarter people know that partnering with someone long-term is a bad idea if their partner does not respect them as the best deal that can be negotiated.

Because the odds of failure for everything is 100% if given enough time, and that failure is hastened by being involved with someone who can't ever be satisfied. The people who make monogamy work are those who both understand this and avoid large disparities and keep their relationships with a stable power balance. I prefer equal power balance, but that is on both parties to negotiate that for themselves. It doesn't come automatically. Because again, instinctively, humans are selfish.

tl;dr Equality is not a mating strategy. It is a possible end result in a relationship.

pussy pass effects

This might be part of the problem. This is the exact opposite of equality. Only mentioning this because as a female I see this often. Also have been treated shitty for being a woman too, so I'll take the equal pay for equal work, and call it a day.

Men spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to attract women, so it makes sense that they will know what attracts women more than a woman herself, since your average woman probably doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about how to attract women.

How to get into a relationship advice for men to women, sure, I can't help with that. What gets me wet? I'm pretty sure I'm a better source of that information. Let's not bullshit the naive.