The Darkest Day [OC]

We’ve had 8 miscarriages… and are currently going through IVF for recurrent pregnancy loss. Miscarrying our twins was one of the hardest things on my body, and I’ve had to do all 8 naturally. No medication. No D&C. In most cases, they sat me in a chair in the hallway of the ER, and waited for it to pass. I think for two they actually gave me an IV. Then did a transvaginal ultrasound and sent me on my way.

I have gotten so used to them that I was able to drive home during one… not to say that it was easy by any means. To think that others must now suffer in such a capacity, out of fear of what might happen is heart wrenching. To know that my last chance at a biological child is slipping away is eating away at me. Did I wait too long? Is this the Universe’s way of saying that it isn’t in the cards for us? Will I be arrested for a possible abortion, despite evidence of recurrent pregnancy loss? I’m in FL… I’m not sure that my health history would even matter. Thankfully we have no trigger laws in place… but I see that being a brief respite.

I feel you, lovely person in the photo. With every fiber of my being, I feel you.

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