I already have a therapist but I don’t feel like she is helping much. Maybe I do have low self esteem but I don’t see much of a reason to have high self esteem. I’m ugly, I’m boring and only bad things ever happen to me. I’m somewhat intelligent but it hasn’t gotten me anywhere.

I don’t see a way to not compare myself to my sister she’s so much better and she’s unavoidable. Especially when it comes to looks it’s so painful to have to see someone with the exact same parents whose an 8+ when I barely crack a 4 with makeup. I’d just so much rather be her than me. And I want to fit the ideal I don’t want to just barely get by in life. I want to be beautiful it seems pointless to be an ugly women.

I don’t think it’s possible to feel good about myself I’m an ugly loser and it’s too late to undo most of the things wrong and I’m never going to get my youth back.