Haven't spoken to my father in about 3 years. The only times he would reach out to me back then was either he needed to "borrow" money, his definition of borrow means i'll keep saying i'll return it but hope that you forget or that he needs my help with something. Not once has he called to check on how im doing, wish me a happy birthday, etc. Ive gotten so conditioned to this that when his number shows up on my phone, my heart sinks because i know the purpose of his calls.

I don't mind giving him money, hes my dad and i have the right as his son to provide for him. but when he does this to my sister, my mother, and myself using manipulative ways to guilt them for money, i could no longer stand it. growing up, he was extremely selfish, spending the hard earned money my mom makes at bars and lavish lifestyles that he cannot afford in front of his "friends" just to put up a front while my mom was struggling to provide for myself and my sister. Not once has he bought money home to pay for bills and whatnot.

I started working at the age of 13 to make sure my mom would not have to worry about me and so i can start helping out with bills. when I was 16, i broke my wrist in an accident. he didnt go to the hospital with me because he was "busy." my mom stayed with me during the whole surgery and took me home while my dad was nowhere to be found. When I was 23ish, i was diagnosed with a heart condition that was passed down from his side of the family. I was in the hospital again for a small heart attack. did he care? nope.

Even till this day, he tries to extort my mom and sister for money and i have since made sure that they cut off all ties with him and no longer feed his habits.