I remember being happy playing yugioh with my friend. I remember being hppy watching my friend play his turn on whatever single player game we played. I remember spending endless hours on vent with friends playing a game that shutdown in 2011.

A lot of what made me happy before i realized i was depressed we're just basic, everyday things any normal person does, whatever it is.

Those things either don't exist or don't intensest me anymore. I've saturated myself with negative thoughts and numbing substances to cope with loneliness for years....but i still know what i like, what sparks my interest and what i would like to pursue when i'm not depressed ( manic/depressive)

You probably still enjoy things you used to do, however small they are. If you try them ,you might feel something. I decided to play some games again recently, just to get some stimulation, and it helped for a bit...I'm stuck again now, but i've been there, i'll find the next thing eventually.

I've been doing this most of my life and i don't feel like quitting so...just keep grasping at whatever you find.