You sound like me. I graduated college with high hopes of having a job I enjoyed. One that created a better world (ecological restoration). I knew I wouldn't make a lot of money, but at least my work would be meaningful. I got a job in my field and didn't even make it 6 months. I was completely devistated. I kept asking myself, "is this really what my life is going to be like?" I quit promptly and ran away (from my "adult expectations"). I don't regret doing this, but my problem was that I had nothing to run twords. I became lost. I didn't even know what my values were anymore. I just knew I had to get out as soon as possible or risk ending up like everyone in my office. Now I'm working an even lower income job, unable to pay off my student loans, and forced to work all the time just to pay the bills. I decided I had to make a change (it's been two years since quiting the office job).

Although I still struggle with the weight of depression, a few things have definitely helped me make progress. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) work books help me organize my thoughts and create a positive narrative about my life. Seeing a CBT therapist on and off again to help guide my progress. This helps me stop the cycle of feeling worthless. It doesn't change my opinion about how messes up society is, it just helps me understand my own mind. This has given me the mental space to build my values. Once I have values I have things I can strive for and a reason to keep going. This has lead me to attempt to live a more minimalist lifestyle...Decreasing my need for money...Working towards becoming debt free... Learning about different types of anarchism...Working towards living in a van so I can climb as much as possible (the only thing that seems to make me feel at peace). I still struggle, because change has been so slow, but I am starting to see a life out there worth living.