That's easy to say, but when it's happening it's almost impossible to do anything, because your mind won't let you.

I believed that too and also that depression was just people being drama queens and refusing to just ignore it, considering the shit I went through as a child. I thought, "The hell guys, you don't know how hard it can be, look at me, all that shit and I'm doing fine".

Then I hit 18 and my childhood traumas catch up to me, anxiety came out of nowhere one day whilst chilling on the train, suddenly four weeks of constant panic attacks, suddenly I'm depressed, suddenly I'm suicidal. It was a downward spiral I can't even describe and all my beliefs about depression and anxiety went out the window.

I went from confident and brave (I did rock climbing, cliff jumping, among other dangerous things because it was fun and generally laughed them off) and then suddenly I'm totally defeated and unable to talk to people because of fear. I could barely even leave my house because of the constant feeling of impending doom.

It's hell, it's unlike anything I've ever experienced. When you're doing down that spiral you can't control your mind and your thoughts. You stay up at nights awake, you cry for no god damn reason, you just become an empty shell of a person, nothing makes sense anymore.

I bought a guitar and whilst it helped take my mind off of it every hour or so, when I stopped playing it was there waiting for me. That's all it is, it's always waiting for you, it's always there going, "Yeah, yeah, ignore me for now, but I'm here waiting" and suddenly the guitar playing isn't enjoyable anymore because you know it's there waiting at the end of it and you're moving from thing to thing trying to find what will take your mind of it. But in the end you hit a dead end and nothing works anymore.

You can't just not focus on it, because it's just there, the bastard is just there. The only way of dealing with it is not ignoring it, it's to face the motherfucker and beat it to death and that requires so much bravery, it requires an insane amount of courage, because that involves letting it in fully and even if you do, chances are you'll lose the fight and the will to fight it again.

I had my family, girlfriend and two closest friends along with a psychiatrist that helped me battle it and even then it was barely enough. It was like having an army that would only fight the minions, but in the end you have to face the final boss alone and that final boss is impossibly strong. It's hard, it's so hard I want to cry just thinking about that moment when I decided to stop running from it and face it head on.

Yeah sure, I won, but I lost a big part of me, I'm not as brave as I used to be, put me in front of a cliff and I'll no longer be willing to climb it, even though I want to. I find myself having to still struggle to make myself go out sometimes, but it's not as bad.

I'm still rediscovering my old self and it's probably going to take another couple of years before I finally find him again.

TL;DR: Anxiety and depression is no joke. It's hell.