My family definitely thinks it’s most important to stick together NO MATTER WHAT. It makes no sense. It defies all logic. My brother unfortunately lacks self-awareness and does not have a growth mindset but he is a business kingpin. That’s all that matters in my parents eyes. My brother feeds off their kiss-assery and likes the financial aid that comes with being associated with them. It’s sad.

I don’t know if your parents do this... But my mom loves guilting and bribing her children with money and gifts. When I told her I didn’t want to talk to her she said “but I wanted to give you $200 and buy you things for your apartment. Don’t you want my help? I did it for your brother. I’m only trying to be fair.” I denied her help. Even though I could definitely use it. I don’t want to feel like I have to talk to her just bc she helped me financially. That’s a ploy of manipulation to keep you under control.

My father was sexually suggestive with me growing up, and did things into my adulthood. The last time I spoke to him was when I told him I was too old (I’m 25) for him to be touching my ass so much. He immediately got defensive, and vented to my mom about home living with them, and told her to talk to me about moving out. So I did.

Despite this bullshit, my mother is still with my father. Guess what? She would never dare tell my brother (the golden child) or my aunt about it. Because it would make her look bad. She is the first person to criticize other family members downfalls even if it happened 20 years ago and was no longer relevant. But when it comes to her own family issues, even if it’s right in her face it does NOT exist. Denial at its finest. Maybe your other family members are falling for the lie too.

Do not feel bad or guilty. They are blind to their own abuse and no matter how much you remind them WHY you don’t want them in your life, they turn a blind eye on purpose. The painful truth is too much for them to handle so they cover it up with a beautiful lie.