Fiancée (F25) has Borderline Personality Disorder and it’s incredibly difficult

No, my anxiety is not normal, mental health issues in general are not normal.


marrying somebody with mental health issues mean you're signing up to love and support them through their life struggles. You work as a team to get from point A to point B.

You can't possibly life a happy life together where your lifestyle / job literally cripples another human being.

If you choose the person, you choose a life with that person. You don't choose a job and try and cram another person into fitting with it.

A life with another person is a partnership where you're both doing things that are supportive to the other person. My husband will always be doing a job he loves, but he won't be travelling internationally for weeks at a time which turn me into a mess for months on end with anxiety.

But I also don't get a pet snake because I know he has a crippling fear of them and would make him on edge in his everyday life walking around his own home.

Marriage is about compromise and boosting each other to the best you can each be TOGETHER.

If you choose your job, then you might not be choosing her.

If you choose her, you might not be choosing your job.

You've got to decide what you want in your future. As you said, it's the travel that sets her off. If you're willing to support her through the shit storm of a life she experiences when you're away for work until your contract ends (and if she can hold on that long), swap to a non travelling version of your job. If you're not willing to hold out until then and make a change, you're not choosing her and what's best for her.

/r/relationships Thread Parent