’Sup, fam? Formerly in the same boat as you.
Disclaimer: Not a therapist, legit just some guy.
First severe panic attack at 6. Diagnosed with hereditary GAD at 8. Over two decades suffered every symptom in the medical index of anxiety ⟨and-then-some⟩. Each and every symptom experienced to the utmost severity. In other words—if you’re going through it—feel free to start a sentence and I’ll finish it for you.
The way I overcame my anxiety and subsequent depression was by understanding it. It took me 21 years to realize I was never truly fighting anxiety. In fact, I battling a shadow puppet, and so are you. I’ll demonstrate below.
You replied this to another Redditor:
Thank you. I know I’m depressed due to a lot of things. Mostly because of crippling daily anxiety and also extremely low self confidence/self hatred. I’m trying to break through but I just get in this head space sometimes that’s hard to get out of.
“Crippling anxiety” and “extremely low confidence/self hatred” aren’t what’s causing your depression. Nor are any of the other reasons you alluded to. Allow me to demonstrate:
“I’m depressed because of crippling anxiety.”
“I have crippling anxiety because I’m depressed.”
“I’m depressed because I have low confidence.”
“I have low confidence because I’m depressed.”
What stands about any of those statements? Right, nothing. It’s a story loop and the order is arbitrary. Because all convincing lies need convincing stories. What you need to start asking yourself are the following questions:
What’s lying to me?
Why is it lying to me?
How do I destroy it?
The ‘what’ is your Ego, a selfish and defunct mechanism once necessary for the survival of your ancestor’s genes.
The ‘why’ is because it’s outdated and malfunctioning.
The ‘how’ is you destroy it by increasing your awareness and taking appropriate action. This is easier said then done, since first you need to understand that your thoughts and feelings are your enemy. Therefore, in order to learn how to conquer your Ego, you need to initially act against them. It’s like asking an enemy in a sword duel for their weapon so you can kill them.
For time and sanity purposes . . .
The Ego is covered in both scientific and spiritual books. The two most important books in either category are The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins and The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
If you’d like advice, feel free to ask.