Just went through all of this. My ex-so didn't tell me she had bipolar until 7 months into the relationship (we were living together for 4). I always had an idea that something wasn't right. Her mood would fluctuate at the drop of a dime and there is absolutely nothing you can do to change/reverse. About twice a month she would threaten to end our relationship (most recent was on Christmas Eve and NYE). I would literally get in the habit of begging her not to leave. I would literally go from being the guy she wanted to marry and have a family with, to her wanting to end the relationship. I was losing weight bc I was always scared that the end was always near. It was a constant roller coaster of emotions. The words that would come out of her mouth when she was in a fury would literally tear my heart apart, and not knowing where it was coming from (she never told me she was diagnosed until 7 months in) really rocked my world. She would always tell me I was the best boyfriend she ever had. She was a city girl that always had asshole guys running all over her, and here I come, this small town kid that just wanted to treat her like a woman should be treated. I was always told to respect women, and one of our first fights was that I wasn't being sexual enough with her and wasn't giving her the physical attention that she needed. The fucked up thing is that we were having sex multiple times a week within the first 2 weeks of knowing, and we were constantly PDA (she was so intense about the importance of sex that it gave me temporary ED from it. I mean I love sex but it isn't the end all be all in a relationship). I was like I don't know how much more sexual I can be. It was this topic that almost ended us in the first month. Beyond the point she was always self loathing, had constant image problems, and was always fluctuating between ideas and being depressed and manic. The topic of marriage became an almost daily thing (we only had been dating for 5 months when that began) and that became a source of conflict too when I wouldn't participate/bring up the topic of getting married (she actually threatened to end it bc of that too). Shit was just always intense. I am an extremely laid back guy and I felt I was always walking on eggs shells. She was constantly paranoid about what I was thinking. She could point out all day what I was doing wrong in the relationship but if you ever corrected her or pointed things out that she didn't like it was game over. She'd accuse me of attacking her character, being aggressive, or just down right being an asshole. One time I tried bringing something up and like i was stuttering to get the words out bc I was so scared something was going to happen. Sure enough something did and she started using that whole jargon about how this isn't working, shes not good for me, etc. Then the next day we would bang and everything would be cool like nothing happened. I mean talk about Dr. Jekyl Mr Hyde. After her most recent threat to break up with me I decided enough was enough. I couldn't be stressed anymore. No matter how much I liked her, this relationship wasn't moving me forward. She didn't take care of her bipolar. She was in kind of denial about it. She said she was diagnosed with BP2 but said she thinks it was a misdiagnosis (believe me it wasn't). She didn't have a job, she would wake up between 10-12, pop 2 adderall to jump start her day, drink and pop caffeine pills, and put herself down with a couple glasses of wine. Didn't see a therapist and she admitted to trying to commit suicide twice. I'm no physician but this is not the kind of lifestyle that someone with BP2 should be living. I feel so bad for this poor girl. I've done so much research on the topic since I have discovered this, and everything I see written was as if I had wrote it myself. The fucked up thing is that her mother is a doctor, and it blows me away that with all the extremely obvious signs, they don't take more control or initiative to help her. She 100% does not manage this disorder and it is so devastatingly obvious. I could go on for days telling you stories but it won't make the situation better. She is an amazing person , I love her with all my heart but I've realized I cannot fix her. My life is not moving forward being in this situation. I have to take control of my life while sadly she is not in control of hers. You feel like your abandoning her. I told her I would always be with her, but I am literally becoming sick from all the scars this relationship was leaving. Mental illness is an incredibly sad thing. Unfortunately you can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves first. Stay strong