Guys who used to be "foreveralone" but are now normal - did romance significantly improve your life?

When I was younger (high school to age 19) I assumed I would be forever alone at that point. The small group of people I associated with in that period of time looked like an impossibility of ever finding a partner.

However quickly when I went to college I had a few long term girlfriends and a few short term ones with casuals inbetween.

Would I say the 'romance' improved my life? Temporarily it did. There is a lot of social implications to having a girlfriend, particularly a popular one. You not only have a partner you enjoy, but you also seem to get on better with people in relationships and it expands your whole social circle. Having a girlfriend is an enjoyable experience, particularly when you're young and not jaded (believe in 'love' and all that) and I certainly had plenty of good times with most of them.

But on the flip side it comes the bad. This isn't an attack at women overall, but my experience is modern women tend to be fairly selfish internally to relationships. It becomes about pleasing them fairly quickly and as a guy I feel your needs are not looked after that well. Also it just gets boring long term. I'm aware some men and women have a lot in common, but for me I just don't find my interests sit that well with the interests of a high majority of mainstream women. Throw ontop of that drama, oh the drama. I sometimes feel women stir drama just out of boredom. Its not like they're trying to stabilize the relationship, I feel they get a kick out of rocking the boat.

So is it overall a positive experience? Well, when I had a lot of free time; it was something I didn't regret having in my life. But I wouldn't say you can call it a positive experience. If i'm honest, a high majority of the time (70-80%) i'm just happier being by myself. When you're single you do get lonely, but I find the longing to be single again far more regular when I'm in a relationship than the longing to be in a relationship when I'm single.

I think overall society doesn't really teach that there are two sides of relationships, good points and bad points. The way we're raised is more or less "You need a relationship to be normal" but no one acts as if its a life choice and depends what you want to get out of it. For me, for now I can say I'm genuinely happy to be single. I do think I'll date again in the near future, but I want it to be when I'm more settled in life and a type of relationship between two settled adults that doesn't try and progress into the happy families situation. I don't want to live together/get married/have kids. If I can sustain a relationship without those, yes I'll be happy.

/r/AskMen Thread