For some weird reason this struck me as such a beautiful read. Two broken souls falling into each other, caring more about the other than themselves. Keeping each other going. Also people call me D, so I suppose that grabbed my attention. But, I know the harsh reality. I know the struggle. I suffer severe depression and chronic pain and my ex has depression and is bi-polar. The decision came easy for me when I understood she never really cared about me like I thought. She was selfish. Only cared about herself. Still does and still can't see it, and wonders why nobody is staying in her life. She just simply can't see things from other people's perspectives and I'm in no position to tell her that after everything. But my situation was totally different from what you're facing.

It seems you two generally care about each other. But this type of relationship is a lifetime of struggle. Constantly supporting the other. In my case it became me supporting myself and my s/o with no help from her. So, it was somewhat easier to decide. But still very difficult. It's hard to abandon someone who you care about when they're down and out. When you know they need you. But you can still be there for him as a friend. For now at least. That's what I felt I had to do. I certainly had no obligation, but she was suicidal (which has proven to be more of an attention grab than anything) and at the time I was there for her whenever she needed something. But it kept on and on. I couldn't keep giving part of myself to someone who absorbed that energy to constantly drain me of my own.

In the end. As hard as it may be. You have to think of yourself and your own wellbeing. What do you think would be more beneficial for you in the long run? I don't know if this helped at all, but just know I genuinely hope you find the power to get through this. You've been through a lot in your life, a lot more than most people would have to deal with at this point in your life. But the future is still in your hands. I hope you find what you're searching for, wherever or whatever it may be.