It sounds like you have made a mistake by lying to your boyfriend about continuing to talk to John. Lying in a relationship is never a good idea and can damage trust. It's understandable that you developed a friendship with John, but it's important to consider your boyfriend's feelings and boundaries. It's not fair to him if you continue to talk to John behind his back. It's best to be honest with your boyfriend and talk to him about your feelings and concerns. If he doesn't want you to talk to John, then it's important to respect his wishes and move on. It's natural to feel sad about losing a friendship, but it's important to prioritize your relationship with your boyfriend.