How bad are your symptoms; can you describe what happens? And how do you manage to get by on a daily basis?

I know when my anxiety sets in because the panic I start to feel makes the thought of living another day extremely terrifying. It feels like I'm drowning (the sensation is so real that I'm convinced I've drowned in a previous life) and my heart rate gets out of control. Inevitably, I start to panic when I think of the water I will need to drink in order to keep on living. The walls start to close in and breathing becomes labored. Since I'm a mother to a young baby now, I also start to panic about how I'll be able to care for him in my manic state.

One of my triggers is being alone. Which is odd because once I am alone, I'm okay. But the thought of being alone (when my husband goes on a business trip or if I don't have plans with friends) gets me really, really anxious. My anxiety is less of an issue when I have a job because I'm guaranteed to be around people. However, when I'm unemployed (such as I am right now, since having my son), my days can get extremely harrowing. Shamefully, there are days where my baby and I will just be laying in bed all day (with the exception of feeding and changing him, of course) because I can't work up the nerve to function. This has caused me to lose weight as I don't bother to feed myself or drink enough water (water terrifies me to no end). I should also note that even on my best day (when I'm free from anxiety and depression) I still have a hard time drinking a glass of water. I remember being a child and suffering from OCD to the point where I would wait for all the adults to leave the table before forcing myself to drink all their leftover water and tea. My OCD was heart wrenching because it would be focused on my biggest fear (water) and force me to punish myself with that fear. I had no control over this and I'd be crying while I sat drinking everyone's leftover water. Thankfully, I outgrew this..

I could go on and on about my problems but I'm really more interested in hearing what you go through when you're feeling anxiety and depression and how you've been able to deal with your symptoms. When I start to panic, reading posts from people who have suffered the same disorder gives me a sense of peace. I really appreciate hearing about what other people go through and find it comforting. Thank you for sharing.