Found myself in a job and put a lot of effort into coping, despite really liking the job, which is actually what led me to eventually seeking the aid of a neuropsychiatrist and starting medication. Like a number of people on this subreddit, I was diagnosed in my mid-twenties, despite showing pretty clear signs from childhood, looking back at it now that I know.

I'm in the military, after having left college three years in, not having completed a degree, despite having received a full scholarship to attend and receiving mostly excellent grades in the topics that I grokked and was interested in, though I failed remedial math classes repeatedly - common story, all of this. I was largely considered bright. I don't intend to brag here - Most people are bright at something... and my math professors certainly did not consider me bright. My other professors adored me - I was so interested and engaged!

Anyway, I thought that college was just not a good fit for my life at the time, unhappy and internally disquiet. So I joined the military. I've always gravitated towards strictly regimented environments... Hm. I wonder why. For my first two years in the military, I was in a job field involving physical labour, constant supervision, and instructions for complex tasks broken down (and written down) to the smallest bits. It wasn't fun, but the job itself wasn't that difficult for me. I had few responsibilities - I was another muscle. I did have some interpersonal issues, but hey... no big deal... It was pretty mindless stuff.

Then, a few years ago, I transferred to my dream job field, and at the same time began to gain rank. This was completely different environment - It was office based, exclusively mental labour, and with it came a high degree of autonomy and responsibility.

Things slid fast. While considered a high performer, nominated for and even winning several performance awards, I realised that I was struggling to an unnecessary degree to produce what I considered 'good enough' work - After a painful process of getting started and completing said work. I would feel stressed out by the fact that I only had eight hours to do everything like I would never get anything done, worried constantly about making a high-impact mistake (to the detriment of both my work and my mental state), was never, ever happy with my work, struggled to focus on it (and stay seated, and when seated, stay still - my only hyperactive traits), and was a bit of a wreck internally about ... everything, really, totally lacking confidence and security in my position. All of this was despite seeming like I had everything together. I felt lazy - Why couldn't I just lock in like everyone else?

There were other things, especially related to memory, temper, and mental scatteredness, but I won't get into them here.

This went on for a bit over a year before I realised that this was probably not simply a case of just being a 'type a' personality - I was constantly receiving positive messages, but they had no impact at all! Certain I was simply not good enough, I considered exiting the military and finding a different job (taxi driver/truck driver/chauffeur, and bartender came to mind - your expressed desire to drop out of the 'respectable' life and drive away resonated with me intensely), but I didn't want to - My job was awesome, I'd worked hard to get there, I liked it, so why was it also so stressful and difficult internally? Because the work wasn't difficult for me, it was well within my wheelhouse, and I was good at it ... once I locked down onto it. I just didn't think so.

After much dragging of feet, to the neuropsychiatrist I went, with some inkling that it might be ADHD. We talked for some time, did some paperwork, went back to childhood. He wanted to try medication. I decided to take the plunge.

I suppose I am a success story for Adderall - it improved things vastly, and immediately. It is no wonder drug, mind, it won't fix things that are personality flaws, rather than executive functioning issues. It's not going to remake you. But from day one, I felt like I had walked out of a fog. My thoughts were vastly clearer, my attention snapped and stayed (it still needs redirection sometimes, but I've gotten good at that - It just sticks now). I was patient with my notoriously frustrating coworker, not short tempered - I was even able to ignore him! And, most importantly, my anxiety has almost completely disappeared because I no longer get stuck in the time-wasting negative feedback loop of 'my work isn't good enough, this is hard and is above me, I will never complete this'.

Whew. That was way longer than intended. All of this to say one thing, really - I understand where you are coming from so very much, because I was in a similar place not that long ago, but took perhaps a different path. No one path is right. In the end, the important thing is that everyone is different, and I consider myself lucky and am glad to be able to receive external aid in order to achieve my goals.

It is not by far the only way of doing things. It is only what was effective for me.

I suppose my actual advice for you is twofold: First, keep your chin up (I say, frequently failing to take my own advice!). There's no shame in taking a route with less prestige if you can provide yourself with basic security, and I think that most societies place an enormous emphasis over material success over health and contentedness, to great detriment to people who do not fit the mold. That said, I do suggest finishing your masters. It will likely help you have a better playing field. If you end up in an unrelated career field, well, lots and lots of people do. You were surely still enriched by your studies, no? That, in itself, has great value. Not everyone is meant for the traditional life, and that's okay. Keep searching - You may have to struggle at times, but if you're willing to work through that and don't sink into a rut, you may very well find a good fit that can also pay the bills. Even if it doesn't directly involve your field of study (which is, as a bonus, pretty broad!).