Good morning. This is going to be a long message, and I'm not a fan of using internet handles to address a person, so I'm going to call you Scott. You seem like a Scott to me, so humor me and let's go with that.
Scott, I have not turned down or ignored anything. I have been taking my time to respond as I hoped to make an articulate and some what intelligible response. You seem to want me to address a bevy of issues here, so let's dive in.
I did not say it was "unfair" that gyms don't offer 6 weeks free to fat people. Fairness is based on personal perspective. I said that society should be more willing to help the fat people who don't want to be fat. After re-reading my comments, I agree that my initial response to the question posed on that thread was disconnected and incohesive.
After posting to that thread, I came home and told my husband about your offer to pay my gym membership. We talked about it, and both of us agree that we are not comfortable with me taking it. I do not know you. As mentioned on that thread, I am NOT looking for charity or a handout. We sat down with our budget and looked at it and are working with our finances to accomodate a gym membership.
I do not want sympathy or pity, if I wanted those things there are plenty of reasons I could get it. Since you seem to think you know me, I'm going to go ahead and tell you about me.
I am a 28 year old married woman who has a wonderful husband and 3 cats. I work as a forensic scientist by day and crafter of all trades as needed. In the past few months, my husband and I have decided we would love to have a child. I went to my doctor and we discussed my PCOS and how that would affect fertility and eventually decided with my doctor that we should start infertility treatment. Without it I wouldn't ovulate and with no egg there is no chance. I know I am assuming you are a man, Scott, and I did kind of snap at you for assuming things about me, but I am basing this off of your tone and the fact that men perpetually wish to fix things, and to you it seemed "she has a problem, let me fix it with this". So if you are a man I don't imagine you would know how incredibly heart breaking it is to be a woman who has only ever wanted a family of her own, only to find out that you're broken. You can't do the one thing a woman should be able to do. You can't get pregnant. Meanwhile everyone around you is getting knocked up without trying. People who would be horrible parents, who don't even want a child.
Imagine that you have depression, anxiety, and trust issues created from years of emotional, mental and physical abuse caused by your parents, your first husband, your sister. Now think about if over the holidays your sister and nieces were to say incredibly mean and nasty things to you about how they wish you were aborted. How you aren't their family and they hate you because you had 2 parents while growing up. They then bring your mother into this name calling and text her so she can also bitch you out and tell you what a worthless piece of shit you are.
Let's say you have to go no contact with your biological family because you need to self preserve the self esteem and worth you've taken years to create. While all of this is going on, pretend you get the flu and are very sick because you were born with an immune deficiency, but still must to go work every day, doing a job that could ruin someone's life if you fuck it up.
If you are in that frame of mind right now, then you feel fragile, exhausted, disoriented, conflicted, depressed. Now let's say your hormones decide to make you start waking up in the middle of the night to puke on Tuesday. You are up from 2am until whenever you go to bed. You can't sleep and you still have to work. Even better, you are on call for work, so there really is no "off" this week. Your equiptment at work is broken and attorneys and investigators are crawling up your sick, sleep deprived ass for answers but you can only tell them you have none.
One of your friends, someone whom has mutually adopted you as family, is about to go through bariatric surgery and you are worried sick about her. She is the only sister you have now and you wish you could be there with her.
During all of this, you reply to an askreddit post about "fat acceptance". Your response is convoluted but you can't see that at the moment because you aren't in your right mind. Someone reads it and offers you a gym membership.
Would you not want to get some sleep and prepare a well thought out response?
Scott, you can say or think whatever you want about me. I don't really give a shit about it. I'll say you know me, because I just spilled my guts to you here, but even though you know me, I don't give a shit what you think. Your ultimatum of "You must PM me" makes me think that you think very highly of yourself. I don't have to do anything. I didn't ask you for help. I didn't make a deal with you.
You can sit there and hide behind the curtain of the internet and judge me all you want, Scott. You can call me fat or lazy or whatever you want, but it doesn't affect me. I know who I am and I take ownership of it. You can sit there and say these are all excuses, but this is life. My life. It has been busy and hectic but I'm still making an effort for my health by not sitting on my ass all day.