Hey sparklypicklefish,

You already addressed this, but I want to reinforce this point. When you say "how long should you allow", it comes across to me as though you are seeking a single, objective answer. And this goal doesn't bode well with the fact that we are all unique and that such matters are subjective. I have known people for whom it took 3 to 4 years to severe the emotional attachment they feel for their exes, and I'm one of them.

Perhaps you may find it more beneficial to seek our methods that you can employ to expedite the process of getting over your ex (if that is what you want).

For me, what worked was submerging myself in her. Let me clarify - For the first few years, I had a mental state of trying to get over her: working more, actively trying to forget and ignore my feelings, hanging out with friends. This didn't work for me as my feelings for her stayed strong. After that, for the next 6 months, I tried something different - I did not try to control or suppress my missing them and wanting her. I immersed myself in her (figuratively speaking) - I went on her Facebook page every day, looked her up online, checked her other social media accounts. I emailed her as much as I felt I wanted to (sometimes every day - she could put me in her junk mail I didn't care). I noticed that my feelings dampened after a few months. It was in those 6 months that I also tried out (for fun) a raw vegan diet. Perhaps it was a combination of both that caused my feelings for them to wane, or just one; I'm not sure.

This may very well NOT work for you. In your mind, you will feel attracted to a specific method that you feel might work to alleviate you of your feelings for your ex. Some methods that may spark interest include:

1) Immersing yourself in his life (as I did with my ex) 2) Changing your diet (Our brains dictate our feelings after all) 3) Getting out there and finding a guy that you like (okcupid?) 4) Having sex with other guys 5) Not doing anything at all and letting time take its course (many people don't do this since they seek a more tangible method - but it could be an effective one for you) 6) caffeine pills or other drugs (ephedrine + caffeine?) that give you a happiness boost (specifically for the really bad days) - Note that many drugs can have side effects, so you will judge the cost/benefit yourself. 7) Talking to a loved one or friend about him. Different friends will support you differently, so perhaps you will respond better to a friend that trash talks him, or a friend who boosts your character up with compliments (i.e. you're such a great girl with so much to offer). 8) And more

People will tell you that some of these are "bad" ideas. But remember, "bad" is also subjective, and what is "bad" for one is not necessarily "bad" for another. I believe you will be benefited if you take this journey on your own, as only you know your mind and heart.

Thank you,

John