My best friend told me she waited 8 dates to assess her fiance before becoming a couple. And another friend said she waited to get to know her husband for 3 months before agreeing to enter a relationship. They both advised me to take longer too. I used to agree to enter relationships after a few dates, before I knew the person well, so I wasn't able to properly assess if we were a good match. Like I'd agree to date people I had no long-term future with (they were gonna move away, they were too busy and barely had time for me, etc.). I decided to take my friends' advice. I've been going on dates with a new guy for over a month and it's going pretty good so far. I'm able to focus on my own life instead of self sacrificing for another person. And I think and do more of what I want, instead of what another person might want from me. And he seems pretty emotionally available, he likes to ask about my day everyday and also talk about his, and he makes time for his friends/family/hobbies, and exercises. But if it doesn't work out, I'm gonna be okay (and eventually I'll meet someone else). This year, I learned that it's better to be alone than to be with someone that doesn't treat me right. However, I do like him so far, just not as obsessive as I used to be, if you understand. Because I'm working on being more obsessed with myself and my own life instead. All the nice things I used to do for someone else, I want to do it for myself instead. All the times I spent energy to help another person achieve their goals, I want to refocus that energy onto my own goals. Every time I catch myself thinking of him, I do need to remind myself that I need to focus more on myself. It's pretty hard for me but I think it's worth it. I think more about how I'm feeling, if I'm comfortable, if I'm hungry, do I need sleep, what I want right now, and then I take action to help myself.