I have severe postpartum rage and i take it out on him but sometimes i can’t stop …
Given that it's your job and responsibility to teach your kids how to handle their emotions, including rage, while remaining respectful to the people around you, that's something you might want to address.
If you're not sure how to get started down that path, these books will help:
And, just in case your parents didn't teach you how to control and process your anger because they didn't know themselves, then “The Emotional Incest Syndrome". It's important to fully discharge your anger towards your husband until you can learn to better regulate it. It will be unpleasant for him, but it's better than discharging your anger by losing your poop on your kid and yelling at them instead.
That being said, given that it sounds like he has a controlling personality type and withholds sex rather than maintaining healthy boundaries in the relationship, he may need help dealing with it himself. Those same books can help him with that as well.
Good luck as you work through it. It's important not to get into the cycle where he blames his lack of sexual attraction and desire on your anger, while you blame your anger on his lack of attraction and sexual interest. If you both point the finger at the other for your own emotions then it's impossible to repair the relationship.
All the best.