This might get struck down by the mods but I want to preface this by saying that this message is written with love and I am not trying to victim blame.

Is it possible the noise is triggering to you? Like in a way it’s unfair YOU went through so much anxiety over making noise but they just don’t care because they didn’t get abused? This is a common reaction for Ns and RBNs, and is the root of the “I always have had it worse than you” narrative. It’s also unfortunately how some behaviors get cycled. I’m not saying you’re mean or that you’re even being rude but where did you get your “quiet” trait from? From someone telling you to shut up while they slept. Which is what youre trying to get your BF to do. I’m not saying you’re being abusive at all about it but please consider the implication of this.

The second part of that is there is nothing wrong with recognizing triggers and setting up boundaries accordingly while we work on them. This is the hard part for RBNs who typically were never taught how to make them. So now it’s up to you to decide if this is something you want to keep going through. If not, then you need to make a clear boundary and maybe explain why. If BF refuses to respect it, then you can choose to leave. Or you can decide to work through the feeling and comprimise. But you can’t sit in limbo and be mad at your BF for doing relatively normal stuff like getting ready.