Try to not play into the notion that you're somehow tainted or not pure for having been with a man before (see: bullshit gold star lesbian mentality)!! This is just yet another way we as a species can't seem to stop obsessing with other people's sexual histories; it's a toxic trap to play into and hard to escape. But once you let go it is so freeing.

Not everyone can just know they're gay or straight from a young age. I never even considered that I was anything but straight until I was halfway through a relationship with a man, and for the first half it all felt completely right and normal. And now, years of personal growth and introspection later I consider myself about a 5 on the Kinsey scale (for easiest explanation). So should people like me be punished for just not connecting the dots until being put into a position that allowed for it?

I know not everyone "believes" this but I have my own personal mantra that sexuality is complicated and fluid, and humans aren't meant to be shoved into black and white definitions about any aspect of their existence. There are simply just too many factors that go into it all, and maybe it's hippie-sounding but it's sort of counter productive to be so hell bent on labeling yourself. I almost made an instagram post to 'come out' to all of my friends but after much thought and speculation I realized that would be forcing myself into one definition for people to associate with me, and from that point any deviation from it would further stigmatize myself as going through phases or to not be taken seriously.

My biggest suggestion is to just stop worrying about defining yourself because you're going to be a completely different person in 10 years anyways. Just live your life however it flows and don't over analyze all the small details. IF you fall in love with a man, so what. If it's a woman, yay! Just live and love yourself for you!