I feel similar to you, I get depressed very often, I don't trust others unless they've proven to be a good genuine trustworthy person, I'm paranoid and get paranoid about things I said or shouldn't have said, how people may have reacted to them.

I've dealt with this stuff for 6+ years now. Some of my Over thinking of situations and previous actions have helped me sometimes not 50/50. Being paranoid is not good to be that leads to you feeling bad more often than not & bad thinking.

Try and find something you enjoy or might enjoy doing and get other people's number who are doing the same. I recently picked up pinball as a hobby. Been practicing every other day at video game bars. I already met one guy who's placed top 100 in a ton of U.S. tourneys and another who is #1 in the state. So I just hang out with them now and nerd out. They're a 1000 times better than me but they know I'm decent and keep learning. Makes me happier. When we play everyone's like WTFFF. It's like watching the olympics on pinball