Exactly! Same thing with alcoholism, anger issues, etc. Both OP and her children need therapy to stop this pattern NOW. It is sad seeing children follow after their parents bad behavior. My mother did something similar, but not as severe. I was forced to eat my food on the floor with only my face while on all fours “like the dog I behave to be” as an 8 year old by my step father while my mother just watched and said nothing. Feelings of worthlessness and feeling unimportant for years follows children into adulthood causing major trauma. I am in therapy now and moving forward, but when these family patterns continue for years it causes children to think their thoughts and their actions are normal, thus causing them to not seek out therapy.

I hope OP’s partner isn’t as mean to her children as he is to her, but I doubt it. Her children probably feel just as horrible and scared as she does.