I understand. I really do. I thought of ending it so many times out of sheer frustration. I never knew what was "wrong" with me until last year (37f). Even with constant work and therapy, I still deal with the issues and fallout of the stupid 'quirks' of this different wiring which seems intent on making an already difficult life even more so. Whether you choose to give up is your choice an no one can stop you, but >I just want to end it. I'm sick of living a life with this fucking mental disorder. Loneliness and depression is killing me. I was diagnosed with 15 (i'm 25) and since then things are getting worse and worse. The only good things i have is my degree and my high paying job.

I completely isolated myself from society. My ignorant parents still think i will be able to get a girlfriend and marry but that's bullshit. There's no way it could happen. Everyone thinks i'm stupid or a maniac. There's things i always wanted to do like travel around all the world and be able to have a normal social life but i'm too depressed to try to change. It's over.

Don't try to suggest therapy because i believe it does not work and I refuse to take any type of medication. It's completely over. I'm just preparing everything to shoot myself and end this nightmare.

Goodbye....