My father asked me to go live with him again... some bad things happened to me when I lived there before. In was raped and just bad things. Anyway, I cried no... begging him to move to the city.-(he lived an hour outside of the city) he said... I'll never be able to do that. I went on a trip as a nanny to Disney world. I sent him a postcard saying I love him and I will live with him. One week to the day they I saw him.... they found him... shot himself in the head. They also found my postcard in his mailbox. He never even saw it. Then a year or so later... his mother told me it was my fault he did it.

With all of this... I know better. I know it now even more so.. I have kids and I want to go. I am a burden... he felt he was too. Maybe he was in ways... not to me... but was he? I mean.... idk. I'm just saying... don't make it about you... I realize it would be unintentional... it took me a long time to see that I was doing that. Maybe your not. Just wanted to share in case. I realize now more every day... that it had NOTHING to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with his head and the life he was dealt.

I pray my kids know this too.