I'm excited for the opportunity again.

I had one relationship (first ever) in my undergrad, had a proposal planned in my head (for someday) after dating a year. Long story short, in our 2.5 year span, two too many guys and their clear involvement with my gf caused some deep insecurity and underlying resentment that I never truly recovered from. After another 3 month span of what felt like "give and take" from my end, I cut things off before a huge international internship when a third guy was name dropped. I wasn't perfect in all of this, in fact I handled my feelings like a child, being very naive in these ventures. I cut the relationship off, yet I didn't remove myself from being available when she begged me to stay. This was a terrible choice, because I unintentionally and inevitably led her on. After some very poor choices as a pseudo-indestructible and single individual overseas for the summer, I still declined the relationship when I returned to the states (too much resentment, too fast of a time to go back) though I never gave up the proposal in my head. She dated the 3rd guy she name dropped before I left only a month after I returned, this time I totally ghosted when she asked if I wanted her back and would try to fix things (again, immature on my part). They're engaged after a year of dating, and I had the opportunity to finally relieve myself of that proposal (prior to her own engagement) by telling her all about my former plan this past summer. Brought tears to both of our eyes. I couldn't go through it with a straight face, I think I put it on the line to show how serious I truly was.

I'm beyond excited for when I have the next opportunity to pour my soul into a question with such gravitas as a proposal, especially when the receiving end has the opportunity to say yes.