This may get downvoted to hell, but I do get where your mother is coming from, not from gender role perspective but rather from a point of view that too much independent behaviors/ equality at all times can be a buzz kill when dating/in a relationship.

I also feel like you have the right to do whatever makes you comfortable. I don't think you are wrong. Regardless, I do want to give a different perspective to the situation from someone, who still a few years ago felt doing things exactly like you. Hopefully not your mother's opinion, but something that eventually made both dating and my relationships easier once I gave in.

Depending on where you live and the cultural norms around your situation, and your boyfriend, insisting on splitting something with him can seem like petty hair-splitting and sign that you would rather hold onto being equal at all times rather an accepting a gift that someone wants to give to you. You don't insist on your birthday to give money for half the value to everyone that bought you a physical gift either.

Now, that being said, Valentine's goes both ways. You could give him something that isn't dinner, for example. A couple's massage? Do something nice and special in return? etc. A gift just from you to him.

Having dated a lot, and having been the person who needed to pay their fair share at all times, it's interesting how much splitting a restaurant bill actually bothers a lot of men. They wanted to take me out, I insisted that I pay my share and I never gave a chance for them to do nice things for me without interfering with their kind gesture or feeling like I owed them something.

Men appreciate being taken out, too. The splitting and keeping tabs part is just something that usually turns out tedious in relationships.

Your boyfriend may be totally okay with the way you do things, and if he is, then that's great. You don't have to change. I just hope that he is just as comfortable as you are with your plans to split the bill and that is all.