Dear All:
WTF, I am freaking out right now because my mother feels it is okay to argue with me while I am at work. What the hell do I do to tell her to back off and to call my nerves?
Ok, so let me give you a little bit of background info. First off I am a 30 year old Latina, whose a single mother living at home with her parents. Enough said, I should have lit myself on fire 3 times over for where I am in my life. With that being said, I do love my life but there are bits and pieces that I do wish sometimes could change or be different or maybe just disappear. My family is definitely one of the changes I wish I could make. For example, my mother and sister are cut from the same cloth. I recently told my toxic sister that I would not be attending her wedding nor would my child. At first glance that sounds really fucked up, but take into consideration that my sister did not attend my daughters 3rd birthday which was on Mothers day and didn't wish me a happy mothers day all because she choose to take my parents side when my parents and I had an argument. Somehow all of the fights I have with my family end up getting my daughter involved and I think its such bullshit. She is three years old and the last argument I had with my family they (including my sister) decided not to speak to both my daughter and myself for 8 months. They missed Christmas and New Years and yet I am suppose to stand here with open arms and let them shit on me every chance they get.
I ask myself, at what point does it get any better with my family? The silver lining is my brother. He's the only one I love no matter what and that's simply because he's a leveled headed individual with an actually heart instead of a piece of coal where the heart should be located. I feel as though I am to blame because when my daughters father and I split up I had no where to go. I had to start all over again and choose to live with my parents and it turned out to be the biggest mistake ever. They have kicked me when I'm down claiming when we argue that it makes sense that my ex would leave me with a child and all. Its like how could family talk to blood like that? What does my ex leaving me have anything to do with the current argument going on with my family?
Anyways, so as I am at work, my mother decides to ask me for my best friends number because she apparently wants to talk to her. I find it amusing given that an hour ago I R.S.V.P to my sister on behalf of my best friend and I letting my sister know we weren't attending her wedding and that we wished her the best. "ALL OF THE SUDDEN" my mother wants to talk ot my best firend and Im the crazy bitch for asking my mother why she needs her number. This has been my best friend of over 15 years, what type of mother doesn't have the best friends number by now? Furthermore why does my mother feel she has any right to threaten me, warning me to watch out when I get home. What the fuck is that supposed to mean. I can only assume the worst and that Ill be getting the official boot tonight. I don't know what to do but I have no where to go with my thoughts and feelings. My fingers literally shake as I write this so excuse me if its rants or ramblings of a 30-year old man woman.
I wish anyone living what I am living the best of luck and would love some feedback. Someone please advise me if I'm crazy or I'm living narcissists. Sincerely - Lvngdedgrl