I respect that you feel this way but I have a lot of problems with the language. I have never been obese only overweight but I find to be dismissive. This is all personal perspective and I’m not trying to diminish the struggle of obesity by any means. Nor am I trying to make this sound like an attack I just want to express my feelings on this. I also understand this thread is topic that is asking how overweight people feel and I want to emphasise that I’m not trying to invalidate the feeling just pick apart the language.

Everyone is allowed to be self conscious! However please do not express your internalised fatphobia onto me, as I’ve struggled a lifetime with weight and bullying from it.

I’m unsure how being insecure about your weight is “internalised fat phobia”? I felt awful about my weight when I did gain 8kg even though I was a “normal” BMI still. I felt weighed down and hated the feeling when I exercised - those feelings have nothing to do with fatphobia but a physically feeling.

Additionally I had/have (remission since I started medication yay!) ED that was not rooted in even disliking my body size but about regaining control after significant sexual trauma. This often manifested in myself “feeling fat” which you have labelled as an invalid feeling? I’m not going to call that feeling by any other name because that was genuinely how I felt, in additional to feeling out of control and insecure. It had nothing to do with fatphohia and to tell you the truth that phrasing feels to me almost dismissive of smaller women that have issues with their weight ESPECIALLY if you have an eating disorder. I do understand what you meant but it is still harmful to hear for myself that how I felt was not correct.

The last sentence to me as well also feels like you’re saying that smaller women’s bullying isn’t as bad. I have been on the end of a lot of body related shit growing up. My experience is valid and not any lesser because I am not and have never been obese.

if you’re thin by a social standard please do not go up to your fat friend and say you feel fat and gross etc. I would’ve thought that is common sense.

I’m sorry but again this is a generalisation. My disordered eating was at its peak when I lived with a much bigger friend. I mentioned it a lot because it was an illness I had that was central to my life at the time and we were like sisters. To not be able to discuss it with someone close to you in terms that you feel appropriate to your feelings feels minimising of the trauma of ED. Quite frankly as well, unless they mention it ofc, treating my close fat friends differently in regards to my discussions on this important part of my life feels more exclusionary? Granted, I did make a concerted effort to not constantly mention it but I did live with her.