First of all, I am not a native english spaker and would like to apologize for any upcoming grammar mistakes. Over coming depression is not an overnight process. It takes time and self motivation and I understand that at this moment you don't feel like you can move on. Life comes in waves, sometimes good and sometimes bad. The bad waves are always the ones you notice more, because it feels like time slows down. Right now it sounds like you've caught a huge shitty wave. I'm not here to give you relationship advice, but as you get older, men become more understanding and mature. As a kid we make irrational statements and decisions that we do not know the underlying effects of. There are plenty of great people in the world, its just a matter of finding them. You are 18 and by law can do what you want. If you are living in a toxic household get out of there, it is only bringing you down further as the days pass by. I understand looking for jobs is tuff and actually getting one is tougher. I am currently looking into kind of the same situation like you. When I am back home from my trip to Australia I really have to focus on finding a jop which matches to me and I also know that it will might be not that easy.I think one of this biggest challenges in life is leaving home. Once you do though, it shall be amazing when you learned to live by yourself. No one can tell you what to do or blame things on you. Money might be tight and your dream job may not be right around the corner, not many people have that luxury. The most importent thing in live is being happy. Being that takes work and baby steps. Set achievable goals for yourself and have a path that you want to follow. If there is one thing to take away from this it is to move, starting fresh is one of the best things you can do for yourself. I know we do not know each other and my words may be meaningless, but truly think about what makes you happy. Get rid of all the negative, no matter how difficult, and allow the positive. I hope this helps. I know you've heard this a million times, but it gets better. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message. Take care!