For now my ex is paying support, but he has told me he intends to quit his job and move abroad.
The $200,000 is in an (I assume traditional) IRA. It's best to treat that money like it doesn't exist. You can access it with a penalty, but you shouldn't. This is going to be the start of your retirement.
Correct. With the QDRO I can take out money without penalty, but as I understand it, if I need cash I should pull from other investments because this would be taxed as income. --- The money was transferred as cash. At this point I am planning to just stick it in a target date retirement fund, but I don't know if that is appropriate for my situation.
The $100k is currently $65k in FASIX and $37k cash, plus I have an additional $25k in BofA. I appreciate your advice to just leave it cash, as I worry I'm being foolish not doing something with it. Once I am earning my own income I'll feel better about doing something to invest, but for now I need it to fall back on. Maybe where the money is now isn't so bad after all.
You don't need to tell me twice to be frugal! The reality of my financial situation has been very clear since day one. (My ex-husband has financed 9 international trips since July, while my kids made fun of me for not buying Chapstick because it wasn't on sale.) I've been working with YNAB since last fall, which has been a great peace of mind to know money for annual expenses is being budgeted for.
I am extremely fortunate that we have the mortgage paid off, which I insisted on as a portion of lump-sum alimony due to his threats. It was paid off 50% from my share of assets, but there was no way I could manage the mortgage on my own even working full time. A handful of repairs are leaving me feeling like it is a money pit at the moment, but property tax and insurance are only $535. I know I could also sell the house or perhaps take out some sort of loan if it comes to that.
As I'm laying this all out here, I'm realizing I'm not in all that bad of shape. The cash I have on hand now should be able to get me through two years if we tighten our belts just a bit more.