Talking this through with someone who will really just listen and not judge whether it's a friend or family member who you know for sure will give you a positive, supportive response or a therapist even if it's just for a couple of sessions, who is experienced with these issues could really help you.

It's totally understandable. When you have a fearful and physically painful or traumatic incident, you will want to avoid this happening again at all cost and any hint of it happening again will provoke bad memories and a fight/flight response to get you out of this situation.

If you're with a really great boyfriend who is really understanding, perhaps he is a good person to talk to about this? He would be really well placed to help you to learn how to regain trust in sex and men. I think you're absolutely right to just stop when you get these feelings. What you want are enough positive experiences and over time, you're likely to feel more and more comfortable.

However, just to reiterate, it's important to talk it through so you actually deal with that experience and don't just allow it to start taking charge of how you behave both in the bedroom and outside in unexpected ways. Talking will help you to frame that experience in a certain context and make sense of what happened. Keep being kind to yourself, take things slow and be patient.

It's a really good sign that you've come to recognise your own suffering and see that what happened was wrong. To me that suggests you have good self-esteem and a deeper understanding of relationships between men and women, which does develop as we get older and is why we're so vulnerable when we're younger. We just don't have that same experience or insight or strong sense of self. This could be a reason for only just feeling the impact of it, but as has already been said, this is a really normal reaction that many people experience. If you're feeling it now, then face it head on now. :)