I am a strong, healthy, independent, well-education woman with options, and it took me 20 years of sexual assaults to realize why I am so compliant in those situations, and it sounds crazy, even to me: I am frozen with fear and go into survival mode. When a guy gropes me, in my mind I want to just start stabbing him or something, but that's not what happens. I have learned that I go into total fight or flight mode because I think, "If that guy is willing to so blatantly disrespect me and my body, and openly break the law, what else is he capable of doing to me?" You think a guy like that is going to like it if you talk or fight back? Probably not. He'll probably get more angry and is more likely to hurt you. My reaction is not necessarily logical; I'm in a public place, I could scream for help or run, but I don't, I sit there and I take it. So here's my plan, which I have yet to implement because I’m broke: I'm taking the most gritty self defense class I can find...Not so I can beat the shit out of a guy, but so I can stop feeling powerless in those situations in order to find my own voice. I have to stop being scared and handle the situation in a way that restores my confidence. But I haven't figured out how to do that yet. I recently reported a sexual assault and it introduced me free professional services my area that have helped me. What you’ve been through is traumatic and I encourage you to seek guidance because this is some seriously fucked up shit.