What are your standards for men
/womenin a sexual relationship?
The first and most important thing for me is willingness to be in a monogamous relationship. I'm gay, and it can be surprisingly hard to find guys who don't at least want a 'monogamish' relationship.
Physically, not fat, or overly muscular. I find any kind of bulk viscerally unappealing generally. That said, definition is very nice, though not essential. Generally BMI of less than 25 is what I'd look for, but I appreciate that weight fluctuates a bit so I wouldn't rule out anyone who was less than 28 and who carried it well and was planning on losing a few pounds. Preferably not balding, but that's a soft standard and not my top priority.
Personality-wise, aside from the obvious (i.e. funny, smart, caring, not a serial killer) I quite like my partner to be the sort of person who's dominant and genuinely enjoys taking the lead. I'm pretty anxious about basically everything, so having someone who's confident in their decision making ability makes me feel at ease. Being with someone who's kinky and leans dom is important too.
Also, while this isn't exactly a standard, I realistically need to be with someone who's pretty indulgent of the fact that I get emotional over stupid stuff a lot of the time. Most people wouldn't be as understanding and sweet as my partner is about me doing stuff like crying over dead pigeons.
How/Are the standards different at different levels (ONS, FWB, LTR, Marriage?)
I would never engage in a ONS or have a FwB situation, but assuming I did, I'd imagine that looks would take priority and personality (other than dominance) would take a back seat. Provided they aren't particularly obnoxious of course.
Are your standards solid or permeable? (If you list 10 things and someone hits 8-9, would you proceed?)
Being willing to take the lead in the relationship is non-negotiable. I'm not going to step up to the plate if they don't, so we'd just end up treading water otherwise. Anything else isn't essential, though if I were single and looking the more boxes ticked the better, haha.
Do you consider your standards high or low compared to others?
I don't know if I'd exactly call them 'high,' but I know from experience that it's hard to get guys my own age who meet them. My partner's older and I can't imagine my life without him, but hypothetically if I wasn't into more 'mature' guys I'd probably not find what I was looking for until I got a bit older.