Having an enjoyable threesome is a process and a skill like any other sexual act. You can certainly learn to love threesomes. Do not give up on a lifelong fantasy over a single drunk night. Ignore most of these comments. Become a master of your own sexual experience in your life.
Pleasure and where you find it is extremely individualized. Everyone loves getting touched in their own way. Finding the right person or persons you can develop a high level of sexual chemistry with is important with exploration in sex.
There is nothing you can do about that night you had and how you felt in those literal moments. All you can do is grow and learn from the mistakes you made this first time. You had a bad experience/trip but it does not have to set your expectations forever.
You can try a threesome again in the future once you've communicated well with your wife. Because that is the maturity you are talking about, being able to properly explain what you dislike, like, love, and REALLY love about a threesome with her. Explain that you are not trying to make her feel bad for having fun. Because that was a part of it originally right? Finding it fun and sexy to watch your wife having fun with another person.
Developing your emotional communication and in turn sexual communication with your wife is the key to these fantasies you have had your whole life actually happening. WE ALL have our own fantasies but those that do not develop their sexual/emotional communication with their partner will never have the joy of those experiences they fantasize about.