I relate to you in the sense of I have extreme tokophobia and I share your concerns about the financial situation. If pregnancy is your biggest fear why not find an alternative solution like a surrogate? You get the a biological baby, but none of the pregnancy.

Personally, I am not having children for multiple reasons with one being tokophobia. I’ve just accepted it and got surgically sterilized, and I’ve just been so much happier with my life. That’s my life though, and all I can say about yours is if the fear of pregnancy is that debilitating then it’s not worth your mental health suffering. It’ll be worse in the long run for you and the child.