I started writing this while there were two othwr responses in this and they've been deleted I guess but this is what I had written down so I'm gonna add it to this one because I haven't gotten anyt calmer. Isn't this for immediate suicide possibilities? I fucking understand you can help your brain by exercise more and all that, that's not helping me RIGHT now. I'm saying I have this horrible energy right now that I can't get out right now in any way healthy. I cant drive because I've been drinking. I can't take a ealk because it's 2 am where I live and I cant risk walking alone drunk at night in the middle of the city. All my friends are asleep, and have more important things to worry about than my dumbass right now. I'm with my parents and I'm 90% sure my mom heard me screaming into a pillow and crying, door open, in the middle of my room, and she decided to turn off the tv and go to bed. I can't call a suicide hotline because I have a horrible time talking through things in my head verbally, I can organise it better and not be as emotional of its written. I'm kinda responding to both the comments in The thread on just this note so sorry if this feels too forced all on you.