Think of family life as living on a battlefront: there's always an existential threat, there's very little time to relax, and everyone important to you is involved in their own fight (and so probably can't help you). You can imagine the kind of skills you should develop. Here are some important ones:

• Mindfulness. Practice being aware of and managing your emotions. Something very easy to build while you're single and young and much harder to do when the woman and the kids come along. And women and kids (more than other men) need you to have your emotions managed.

• A habit of work. Hard work and long hours. Make that your new normal.

• A simple relaxing hobby. Something immersive, cheap, deep, and small. Reading, playing a portable instrument, etc.

• Practice solitude.

• Purify your heart and get used to making decisions with reference fundamentally to God, as opposed to your friends, your boss, your parents, your culture. Your family will need you to have that absolute stability.