43 M here, father of three. (The only reason this is relevant is for those other guys who may have a hard time with the whole "men don't cry" nonsense.)

About a week and a half ago, I cried. I haven't had the best relationship with my Dad, and both he and my Mom caught coronavirus in late March. Mom was fine and asymptomatic; Dad quickly developed COVID-19 and has been in ICU since the first week of April. Ventilator, organ failure, dialysis, quickly going downhill. I've been calling the hospital and talking to the doctors every day (can't visit, can't enter the hospital; I live in another state anyway) to get information to pass along to my family. Around a week ago, I had the dreaded "quality of life" talk with the doctor, since my Dad has been unresponsive to treatment.

My last face-to-face interaction with my parents (January) ended badly; we hadn't spoken since then. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I got furloughed during the last week of March. So, I'm sitting there in the morning after getting off the phone with the doctor, wondering how I'm supposed to broach this subject with my mother and siblings, thinking about the fact that I'll never see my Dad again, never be able to say "I love you" and "I'm sorry", that he's suffering alone in a fucking backwoods Tennessee hospital, that we won't even be able to give him the burial he wanted, that I don't even have the money to go see my Mom or to help or to do a goddamn thing, etc. I crumpled down on the floor by my bed, and cried.