Sry I didn’t mean to come off defensively with the last bit, it’s a sore area for me as it’s something I’m going through myself. I retrospectively deleted it because I felt like responding that way wouldn’t do any good.

I do want to say I get what you’re saying though and I guess I’d just add this:

I’ve been in the same situation (I guess generally speaking since I don’t know the details) where I felt like I didn’t really help a friend figuring themselves out despite my best efforts, but I think in some cases it’s a journey that the individual has to travel first before anything you say or offer can really have an impact.

I don’t know how many times I’ve had friends who seem to talk themselves in agonizing circles and while I actively try to help them with my input, I recognize that sometimes I’m a sounding board and not a counselor if that makes sense.