I could make a list! Anyway, one thing that sprung to mind: used a pin to scratch across my chest roughly where my heart is because a boy didn't like me. I was about 17/18.

I should point out I am not mocking self-harm. I have actually self-harmed in the past as in done it the way where you deliberately pick spots you know nobody will see but in this instance I knew my friends had invited me out that night, knew I was going to be wearing a low-cut top and I still did it anyway because my thought process was "I'll show him!!!" This wasn't an episode of auto-pilot, numb to everything self-harming and more an episode of trying to make a boy feel guilty. I'm far enough away in years from that event now to know that there was a difference between the two.

Except for what was promised to be a girls night turned into one of my friends desperately seeking anyone willing and I got landed with one of the friends of her "target" and our other friend got the other friend. The latter two of us weren't really in the mood and kept trying to ditch them, but they kept finding us and would.not.leave.us.alone.

I got really drunk, the three lads walked us back to my friends house (because my first friend was still persisting with the guy she was into) and I remember the boy who had been pestering me all night saying to his pal "I'm having a fucking shitty night mate, can't wait for it to be over" - oh I'm sorry my obvious total lack of interest in you meant that you had to keep bothering me! My bad!

Anyway the main cringe comes from the scratches but also the fact that when that boy said that, I burst into proper snotty hysterical tears. Worst night out ever.